“Time is like a river, they say. I say everything is a river. Life is a river. There is no stability. Life abides the physics of time, always moving. Life doesn’t stop or have checkpoints to fall back to. An object in motion stays in motion. An object at rest is sinking. Diminishing. You’re either going up or you’re going down. There is no ceiling and there is no rock bottom. Just when you think you’ve hit rock bottom, you find you can always sink lower. Lately I felt like I tumbled in a free fall and inside I was constantly bracing for the impact of that unbearable rock bottom.”

The above paragraph is an excerpt from my latest new adult book, Redheads and Bedspreads. I think it explains how I feel about “stability.” I don’t believe in stability. Stability isn’t real. You’re either moving up or your moving down.

In life, things are always either growing or decaying.

  • You’re either making money or you’re losing money.
  • Either gaining weight or losing weight.
  • A relationship is either nurtured or atrophying.

There is no stability

Sure, you can look at Time A and Time B and see they have the same values. Your bank account, weight, etc. could all be identical today as a month ago. That’s the illusion of stability. In the interim of Time A and Time B your account fluctuated and so did your weight. Maybe you just weren’t paying attention.

The point is…

You are never going to “make it.” Don’t be naive. Life is a struggle. Everybody would love to believe that you go to school, graduate, get a cushy job with your impressive degree, cruise until retirement. But that’s not how things work because it assumes that “once you just get…” SOMETHING (a degree, a job, a spouse, or just over your last argument), that everything else will “fall into place,” or “work itself out.”

Not to depress you, but there is no cruise-phase coming to your life. Accept that. Between graduation and retirement you have all these challenges you must face. In your love life, your health, your career, all of it. There is no rest. Transcend the idea that you will hit that magic point, and then while everyone else is struggling to “maintain,” you can excel. You can be great.

Abandon stability because life and the universe are vast and endless. Like the Redheads and Bedspreads excerpt says, you can always sink lower and you can always fly higher. So get over that boring flat line of “stability” you’re trying to hold onto.

About the Author Kyle Milligan

I'm Kyle Milligan, I write New Adult Books that don't suck. i.e. The Hang-Ups and Hangovers series. I like to write about the challenges of being a single twenty-something in today's hookup culture. My blog offers Dating Advice For Men.

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