How to Shatter Your Limiting Beliefs and Get A Hot Girlfriend in 5 Minutes

changing limiting beliefs

You’ll never be able to find and keep a hot girlfriend if you can’t overcome your limiting beliefs. Don’t worry, there’s an easy way to deal with them.


Fun fact, I’ve never gotten more play from the ladies than the times when I was broke and unemployed. I’m serious. It struck me as odd when I realized it. Before I recognized that I was actually getting laid MORE while I didn’t have a job, I thought girls would only like me if I had money. That idea, that I can’t get girls if I don’t have money, is called a limiting belief. That’s what I want to talk to you about today. Your limiting beliefs.

What is a limiting belief?

A limiting belief is any belief that constrains or restricts you in some way. You may not even realize you have “limiting beliefs,” but they pop up every day of your life. You call them “reasons,” other people call them “excuses.”

Regardless of their title, you have been infected with limiting beliefs that you carry around every day. They cause you to stay…consistent. And by consistent I mean stagnant.

How do you Develop Limiting beliefs?

The limiting belief I had about women only liking men with money is a really common one. It comes up several times in Hang-Ups and Hangovers. It had been reinforced all my life. But it was set in stone during my college years.

I went to UNC Chapel Hill, where frat culture was pretty popular. The frat guys were total assholes. They started fights. They were always blackout drunk everywhere they went; every hour of the day.

To me, they were a horde of losers that created their own culture of cool because there were so many of them willing to pay for friends and enable each other’s bad behavior.

But there were always hot sorority girls hanging out with the rich frat kids. I couldn’t figure out why girls would like jerks like them but they seemed to like them a lot.

Even the fat frat guys hung out with pretty girls!

A Limiting Belief is any explanation for why things aren’t working out for YOU.

What was the one obvious difference I could spot between me and the frat kids? Money.

I grew up poor. And I was always insecure about this.

So the limiting belief was planted: “If I want a hot sorority girl, I need to make a ton of money.”

I hadn’t considered that the frat kids were just CONFIDENT.

Sure, some of that confidence might have come from the money. But it also came from ONLY hanging out and partying at THEIR OWN house (and not letting any other guys in).

It also came from them ALWAYS being surrounded by their brothers. Guys who proved over and over they would fight for each other any place, any time.

Frat kids were just very confident and very drunk. And we know from these letters that women love one thing in the world above all else. That’s right. Confidence.

As a guy who still didn’t understand confidence, I resented the frat kids in college.

Plus, they were getting chicks and I wasn’t. So they must have been cheating.

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Limiting Beliefs are Dangerous

Limiting beliefs are dangerous because they become a part of your identity. When you accept your limiting beliefs you put yourself in a position of powerlessness.

Overcome your limiting beliefs guy and girl kissing over water

To achieve happiness you must take action. To take action you must overcome limiting beliefs about what is and is not possible.

Once I graduated college and started making money, I still wasn’t getting girls. So I made new limiting beliefs.

“I can’t get pretty girls because I’m not tall enough. My hair is too thin.” Bullshit.

Eventually you reach a point where you just settle on the ultimate, person-specific belief: “I’m just not the kind of guy who gets girls.”

This is so dangerous. It can lead to living a miserable, miserable, hopeless life.

Limiting beliefs are not just about girls. They can be about your job. Your health. Your friendships. Once they take hold they pause that area of your life then run it into the ground. That’s what makes them so dangerous.

Limiting beliefs stop you from taking action. And then you internalize those beliefs and you actually do become that guy.

Your Ego Creates Limiting Beliefs To Keep You Safe

What is CRAZY is people CLING to limiting beliefs because they keep them SAFE.

Sound familiar? You can already guess who is behind this evil shit. That’s right, your ego.

Your ego doesn’t want you step out of your comfort zone and experience pain or embarrassment, so it is the creator of limiting beliefs!

Your ego is the goddamned devil!

It doesn’t want you to talk to that pretty girl because you might get shot down. So it tells you, “Girls don’t like guys who don’t have a six-pack. Girls don’t go for guys under 6’1.” Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

You Are NOT A Victim

Think about your limiting beliefs. Try to figure out some right now.

Think about the people you resent. Try to figure out what you are jealous about. Why do THEY have it so much easier than you?

This is usually humbling, but you need to be honest with yourself.

You thought of some reasons why other people are more happy or successful than you? Good.

Now ACCEPT that whatever you think the reasons are that things aren’t working out for you are BULLSHIT.

Understand that you are not a victim. You are not helpless. You can do anything you want.

How to Get Rid of Limiting Beliefs in 5 Minutes

Here’s an easy exercise: Take your limiting belief, and then extrapolate it to the entire world population.

  • Limiting Belief: I don’t have a hot girlfriend because only guys over 6’1 can get a hot girlfriend.
  • Extrapolation: Is there not ONE person in the entire world under 6’1 with a hot girlfriend?

Once you find your “exception,” your ego is going to IMMEDIATELY generate MORE limiting beliefs!

  • Yeah, David  (5’11) has a hot girlfriend but that’s only because… he’s rich.
  • Jared (5’9) has a hot girlfriend but that’s only because… he’s funny.
  • Josh (5’7) has a hot girlfriend but that’s only because… he’s a good looking dude.

Bullshit on all these. Now extrapolate all this bullshit.

  • Has not ONE un-rich guy in the entire world gotten a hot girlfriend?
  • Has not ONE un-funny dude in the entire world not gotten a hot girlfriend?
  • Has not ONE un-good looking dude in the entire world not gotten a hot girlfriend?

It’s Really Up to You

The truth is James, you have no excuses to not succeed in this arena.

Ugly guys have.

Poor guys have.

Unfunny guys have.

Short guys have (I’m 5’7).

If you put in the time, you will find yourself the selector. You won’t settle for the girls who give you the time of day on Tinder.

Every time you sit on the sidelines you only have stupid limiting beliefs to blame. Your stupid limiting beliefs and your stupid ego.

Dump them both. They are pure evil. They think they are helping you but they are caging you up “for your own good.”

I have written you a letter every day for three weeks now, James (that’s a medium length book).

It is time for you to put my advice to work.

Good luck,


About the Author Kyle Milligan

I'm Kyle Milligan, I write New Adult Books that don't suck. i.e. The Hang-Ups and Hangovers series. I like to write about the challenges of being a single twenty-something in today's hookup culture. My blog offers Dating Advice For Men.

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