How to Impress A Girl and Stop All Flaky Behavior in Two Easy Steps

Guy and Girl having fun on a fair date

Flaking is a terrible nuisance. These two basic steps will impress a girl, eliminate flaky behavior, and get her invested and excited about your date!


In my last letter I gave you feedback about why a girl who gave you her number to hang out still flaked on your date. While it’s tempting to get emotional or angry over a flake, it’s not a big deal. It happens to everybody. I’m sure even your friends flake on you sometimes. Still, flaking is a pesky nuisance so I’m going to give you tips on how to impress a girl and prevent flaking in the future.

How to Prevent Flaking – Separate Yourself from the Herd and Impress Her

So how do you prevent flaking? Like all stuff “dating,” there is no magic formula. Social science is an imprecise science, but I will give you some tips.

First, we need to separate ourselves from the herd. You’d be surprised to know how many times pretty girls are approached for dates, so you don’t want to be another “what’s his face,” when you walk away with her number.

There’s two fronts to attack this issue. The first, the physical aspects, are easy. The second, creating a genuine connection, depends on how strong your social skills are.

Step 1. Make a Good First Impression with Your Appearance

I don’t harp on this, but you can always improve your appearance and become more impressive to women. You can break down appearance further into two components.

Impressive Physique

First, you can improve your physique. That’s super easy. Eat healthy and go to the gym.

Like I have helped you with women, I can also shortcut the fitness learning curve for you. I’ve written a ton of stuff on how I used Bigger Leaner Stronger to get abs in 30 days.

Side Progress October to November 18 Bigger Leaner Stronger Results

I don’t do cardio. I just dieted and lifted for four weeks. Easy peasy.

I suggest you start by reading that post. I’d also suggest picking up Bigger Leaner Stronger by Mike Matthews. It is my personal fitness bible and, frankly, I’m pretty ripped.

Impressive Wardrobe

Second, you can improve your wardrobe. You don’t have to go nuts. You can still dress similar to your peers, but dress a little nicer than them.

Style is subtle:

Patterned socks super easy way to get girls attention

Patterned socks are a super easy way to make yourself more stylish and memorable.

You can also grab some slacks and button downs to replace your jeans and t shirts. I like Bonobos from Nordstrom and Express button downs have great patterns and fits.

You can buy each of these pieces one at the time. Buy just one item every paycheck and in a month or two you have a really solid wardrobe.

Some people are like, “Wear a suit and pocket square everywhere.” I’ve seen dudes wearing a suit when it didn’t make sense and it’s an easy way to look like a tool.

Step 2. Genuine Emotional Connection

So you’ve impressed her with your style and physique. The second way to separate yourself from the herd is to draw a genuine emotional connection with her. Most guys can’t do this.

When you walk up to a girl with confidence, speak to her in a direct fashion, and are congruent in your thoughts, words, and actions, you are ahead of 90% of men. She will be more likely to remember you.

Learning to be direct, confident, and congruent makes you more impressive and feeds into your ability to create genuine emotional connections with people. This will allow you to find a girlfriend who is perfect for you.

You find the perfect girlfriend by approaching women with ONE goal in mind: To screen her and find out if she is someone you would want to hang out with again.

This is where I suspect you went wrong with the girl who flaked.

First, let me apologize because I may have misled you when I explained how to get a date on Tinder with a few simple messages. You can’t treat real life interactions the same as Tinder.

When a girl swipes right on Tinder, interest is established and it can be assumed she has at least a remote interest in meeting you.

There is a little bit more to approaching a girl out of the blue in real life.

How to Create the Genuine Emotional Connection

In “real life,” you always assume attraction before you approach, just like you would in Tinder. But then you must screen her to see if you would hang out with her after meeting her. This naturally leads to a genuine emotional connection, which will impress her.

A genuine emotional connection doesn’t mean you have to both expose all the skeletons in your closets. You just have to have a logical reason to hang out.

By screening her, you are hunting to offer her justification to hang out again. “Ya know, you’re the only girl I’ve met tonight who enjoys talking about It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia as much as me. Let’s hang out sometime. Are you free Tuesday night?”

It’s a small reason, but that’s all it takes.

You need some sort of connection that you can reference to “close the sale.” Otherwise your chance of flake is so much greater.

I actually have professional insight about this for you! Let me explain.

How to Close AND Stop Flaky Behavior – As Told by a Legend

In his amazing book, The Adweek Copywriting Handbook, renowned copywriter Joseph Sugarman explains that people make buying decisions based on emotion, then justify them with logic.

In sales, if you do not give someone logical justification for their emotional purchase, they will develop buyer’s remorse because they have no way to justify the purchase they made. (You know I love relating talking to girls to sales – it just WORKS!)

Porsche Sports Car

To get someone to buy something, play on their emotions and get them riled up, then give them logical justifications for buying. It can really be anything. “Porsche is such a hot car. They’re so fast. They’re so cool. Having a brand new Porsche will make all the ladies want to bang you! Plus it has AM/FM radio!”

To get someone to buy something, you first play on their emotions and get them riled up, then when they are totally bought into the IDEA, the awesomeness of the product, (like your girl was bought into the IDEA of a date with you) you MUST give them a logical justification for buying.

And that can really be anything.

People just need an excuse to follow through on their emotional pull. “Porsche is such a hot car. They’re so fast. They’re so cool. Having a brand new Porsche will make all the ladies want to bang you! Plus it has super safe anti-lock brakes!”

Once someone commits resources to purchase something with no logical reason to justify the investment, they get buyer’s remorse.

How This Works On Women

When you approach a girl with confidence, and you act direct and congruent, you form a strong first impression and rile up her emotions. Holding silence is the strongest, fastest way to create sexual tension and give her butterflies. Her emotions will be all over the place and she’ll happily hand over her number.

You closed the sale. You got the digits. BUT!

If you get her number with no logical justification, (i.e. no reason, no date, no time) she will get BUYER’S REMORSE. Why is she going to set aside her Tuesday night? “He got my emotions riled up,” just doesn’t cut it. Same with buyer’s remorse in a sale. You need to tie her investment to a logical justification. Her emotions need something to latch onto to.

You MUST find some logical reason for hanging out with her again (Like how I used we both like Always Sunny in Philadelphia) or she will bail. Mention it when you ask for her number and you will see your flake rate drop tremendously.

I know, this sounds like over analyzing, but this is how people’s brains operate. But first try my advice and see if you aren’t blown away by the result.

And wouldn’t that be great? Think about it.

Don’t waste anymore time getting a beautiful girl’s number, then getting your hopes up, only to have her flake. It’s enough to prevent you telling your friends about a date because it’s so embarrassing when they cancel!

Can you see how these little changes to your physique, your wardrobe, the way you create a genuine emotional connection, and how you ask for her number can make a difference?

So when do you think you should get started doing this stuff? I trust you know the answer, my friend.

Good Luck,


P.S. You can also refer to chapter 17 of your copy of Hang-Ups and Hangovers, Marc gives great tips on accessories to wear and how to subtly dress to impress.

About the Author Kyle Milligan

I'm Kyle Milligan, I write New Adult Books that don't suck. i.e. The Hang-Ups and Hangovers series. I like to write about the challenges of being a single twenty-something in today's hookup culture. My blog offers Dating Advice For Men.

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