How to Get a Girlfriend If You Are Shy in 6 Simple Steps

Getting a good girlfriend isn’t easy. That’s an understatement for shy guys. Finding someone you click with means running through a lot of dates and potential girlfriends before ever finding someone you like enough to form a committed relationship. Say it takes 10 dates to find a great girlfriend. An extroverted person might run through 10 dates in a week or two. However, getting a girlfriend for a shy guy will prove more difficult. No worries, I’ve got some tips for you.

1. How to Meet A Girl if You Are Shy

To get a girlfriend, you will have to go on several dates.  To go on more dates you need to meet more women. That’s a tall order for a shy guy, so you need to do this in way that doesn’t put pressure on you. Here’s what you do:

  1. Go to a coffee shop.
  2. Sit at a bench, bar, or common area.
  3. Work until you are really bored.
  4. Ask a person near to you what they are working on.
  5. Do this several times a week.

Notice I didn’t say hit on girls at the coffee shop. I didn’t even mention girls or girlfriends or dates. As a shy guy, you can’t just learn how to not be shy around girls. And you can’t just leap into asking girls out. The first thing you need to do is just meet more girls. That’s it. Just meet them. Don’t think of it as getting a girlfriend at this stage.

Don’t rush this process. You might not even have any girls sitting around you the first couple times you do this. If you only try to do this with girls you find attractive it will create immense pressure on you. That’s doom for a shy guy. So be patient. You may have to wait a week or two to find a potential date, but once you get a girlfriend it will pay dividends for a long time.

2. How to Talk to Girls if You’re Shy

How do you talk to girls if you are shy? You’re shy, but even you can ask, “What are you working on?” Once they answer, remember to not put any pressure on yourself. As a shy guy, talking about yourself to strangers is probably painful and it will show. Bad, forced conversation could scare off a great girlfriend before you even get a single date. Take it slow. This follow up question will almost always work: “How did you get into that?” Just ask questions and keep the conversation on her.

3. Project Confidence

You know you’re shy, but SHE doesn’t know you from a hole in the ground. Projecting confidence is key to getting a girlfriend. Luckily, this can be easy because the fastest way to display confidence is to do LESS. Nervous people fidget, they talk a lot, they talk fast, they rush to speak during silences. Confident people don’t do that stuff. Think about James Bond’s body language – does he fidget or talk a lot? Confident people basically just sit there. Do that! Focus all your energy on sitting still and being quiet and you’ll be in a better position to get a girlfriend, shy guy or not.

Get a Girlfriend If You Are Shy Guy

The trick to beating your shyness is to use it to your advantage. Do less!

4. How to Ask a Girl On A Date

You can’t get a girlfriend without going on a date. Ah! Asking her on a date! Shy guy panic! Remember, we want you to feel as little pressure as possible. When the conversation is coming to a close simply say, “Want to get a drink sometime?” The beauty is, the less you say, the better! If you say, “Hey, this might be weird, I don’t usually do this, not to be forward but… uhhh…” then you look unconfident. Play to your shy guy strengths because saying less here is actually the most effective way to get a girlfriend! When you ask her out and she says yes, just say the first place that comes to your mind and a time. “How about Jack’s Thursday night at 7? That works for you? Great, let me get your number.”

5. Keep Doing Less – Dating for Shy Guys

When you go on a date, keep the pressure off yourself. Don’t feel pressured to do anything. Just ask her questions, be curious about her and her life. As a shy guy, you will probably be nervous on the first date. If you still have nerves, don’t talk a lot. She will fill those silences for you and eventually, like all awesome shy guys, you’ll feel more comfortable and come out of your shell. Let it come naturally (A great guide on attracting women naturally is Models by Mark Manson). Don’t skip steps to girlfriend status. Just work on your comfort level first.

6. Make Her Your Girlfriend

Time to get a girlfriend for you. No worries, shy guy, we are going to stick to our guns on this one and do as little as possible. I actually don’t recommend you ever put the “so what are we?” conversation on the table. I repeat, you should not initiate the girlfriend conversation. The girl will do it. Patience is key here. In my experience, it usually takes about 4 weeks of dating for this conversation to come organically, but she will make it happen. The ball is in your court now, shy guy. Do you want her to be your girlfriend or not? It’s up to you.

P.S. Can you see how a little guidance could help you do better with women? Are you interested in doing better with women? I’ve written entire novels (literally) about attracting women and going on dates. How soon do you want to be better with women? Check my novels out here.

How to Get a Girlfriend If You Are Shy in 6 Simple Steps
Article Name
How to Get a Girlfriend If You Are Shy in 6 Simple Steps
For a shy guy, getting a girlfriend can be difficult. Follow these 6 steps to get a girlfriend even if you are shy around girls.

About the Author Kyle Milligan

I'm Kyle Milligan, I write New Adult Books that don't suck. i.e. The Hang-Ups and Hangovers series. I like to write about the challenges of being a single twenty-something in today's hookup culture. My blog offers Dating Advice For Men.

follow me on:

Leave a Comment: